Monday, December 14, 2009

Online Poker: A Donkey's Perspective

I don't consider myself a donkey, but according to online players I am. I who will play suited connectors for a small raise and flop a straight flush draw with two cards to go, then check and call with my draw, hit my draw, check, re-raise my opponent all in and win with a made flush when his Ace-King fail to pair. These are the same players who will call my raises with King-six offsuit and flop three Kings while I hold Aces and re-raise me 2,345 into a pot of 250.

I started an experiment with $30, or 300 big blinds in $0.05/$0.10 No Limit Hold'em, and was wondering if it indeed was possible to build a bankroll from nothing. I am very far from a casino, and the casino I play at is not an easy one to win at. The players all travel in excess of 40 miles one way to get to this casino, which results in players who are actually very talented and want to be in the poker room. I have found several games that are filled with not so strong players who are looking for a convenient outlet but sadly these games either do not run everyday or are raked and therefore illegal. With the sad state of police/poker player relationships, I'd much prefer to leave those alone. Too many times I hear of police busting up a poker game because it is gambling/illegal/dangerous/bad influence to good Christian children/etc./etc. So playing poker online is definitely in my favor, no? Seeing how I can play in my own room with my music as loud as a I want as I scratch my testicles through my boxer shorts, shouldn't online poker be an obvious choice? Apparantly not.

While it was my intention to tell you how well my experiment is going, it proves to frustrate me more than anything that I am a donkey when I play online poker. I do not believe anyone since large bets are just as easily made with Jack-five offsuit as they are with the nuts. And if you call with your measly two pair you are a donkey who doesn't understand pot odds and should'nt have called that bet because he was representing Quadruple Suited Connecting Aces and any professional would know that he had it. However if you call with your two pair, only to be beat by his runner runner straight/flush/full house, you are a lousy poker player who can't even tell when a player has the nuts and should just quit breathing all together since you are obviously a waste of skin and bones and brains. LOL.

I cannot deal with online players. The strategies they employ escape me. I have seen more min-betting and min-raising in a no-limit game online than I have seen at the limit tables at the casino. I see people three-bet with pairs of sevens and eights pre-flop and then flat call with Ace high to shove in 450 big blinds on the river when a scare card hits the board. I don't understand it. These moves are mathematically unsound in live play, what makes them special online? And the aggression level is off the charts. You better hope three connecting cards don't come down, or three to a flush, especially when you have a big pair, because someone will raise you for ungodly amounts no matter what their cards are.

The way I play poker is akin to martial arts. I prefer to be a Judo master, using my opponents aggression against him. When my opponent strikes with a punch, I block and roll his energy around and redirect it back to him. When I see a weak spot, I strike the point precisely to maximize the effectiveness of the strike. But when your opponent is a UFC Heavyweight who hammers on you with pure muscle and strength, technique is not going to save you from the blows you have to absorb in order to get your strike.

So, the moral of the story, I have lost that $30 after running it up to $113. The number of bad beats I took were enough to make me sick to my stomach. I am not suited for online play, as my aggression level is too controlled and focused and my hand selection to small and obvious. I have to date dumped nearly $900 online. I do not think I will put any more on. My experiment has shown me that while I may win for a while online, I just don't have what it takes to make it as an online pro. The live play experiment is still in ongoing, and the results to date are inconclusive.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, I'm going to be in the Cinci area next week and am planning on playing at one of the local casinos. Which would you recommend?

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  2. Hollywood has more players and more options but the field is pretty tough. Lots of regulars. If you want an easier game go to Grand Victoria because the Hollywood dealers play there but there might not be a game going. No dig on the dealers, lots of dealers try to play poker and some just can't do it. I still prefer Hollywood because you will have a better experience. Never played higher limits like 5-10 or 10-20 so dunno about the softness of those games.

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